Let’s be real.
This conversation? It’s long overdue.
Because insecurities come dressed in everything
coats, careers, cars, cologne.
You don’t always recognize them.
But they’re there. Hiding in your smile. In your silence. In your spending.
So, here’s the truth: I’ve got them.
And maybe you do too.
That’s the first step saying it out loud.
We all carry some version of doubt.
For me? I’ve been married for almost a decade.
And I’ve seen insecurities show up in more outfits than I can count.
Let’s start with one of the loudest: financial insecurity.
You ever feel like your wallet’s whispering,
“I’m not enough”?
It changes how you walk.
How you love.
How you dream.
And in this world?
They make it worse.
This system feeds off your fear like a vulture.
If you’ve never struggled financially if you’ve always felt secure
That’s beautiful. Seriously.
But for the rest of us?
We’ve had to push through job to job,
Praying that the math somehow makes sense.
And the worst part?
You start to feel like your worth is connected to your account balance.
Like you’re only as lovable as your ability to provide.
The mind starts spiraling.
That part of your brain built to spot danger.
It starts seeing threats everywhere.
Not just outside but inside.
Fear whispers, “You’re falling behind.”
And suddenly, you’re comparing your struggle to everyone’s highlight reel.
But here’s the thing:
Financial insecurity isn’t just about cash.
It’s about confidence.
And that’s a deeper vault.
If you’re in a circle that mocks your growth,
If you’re in a relationship that dismisses your struggle,
You’re not just broke.
You’re being drained.
And here’s what I’ve learned
Most insecurities are about one thing:
how you see yourself.
You think it’s about how they see you.
But really?
It’s your own reflection you’re wrestling with.
Confidence doesn’t come from approval.
It comes from acceptance.
And if you beat yourself up every time you trip,
You’ll stay stuck in apology mode.
Now let’s talk about physical and environmental insecurities.
Have you ever walked into a room and feel like your skin doesn’t belong there?
Have you ever worn your scars like secrets?
This society tells women their bodies aren’t enough,
Tells men their bodies must perform,
And tells everybody to compare, compare, compare.
Someone might feel fine until they’re asked to read out loud.
Or dance.
Or strip away the armor.
That’s when you see where insecurity really lives.
I’ve had my moments.
Tall. Handsome. Intelligent.
Still felt like I was hiding something.
Because deep down,
I hadn’t loved myself the way I needed to.
In relationships,
It’s not just about feeling desired.
It’s about feeling seen.
Not for what you do,
but for who you are.
Some people use confidence like a weapon.
They dress it up, flex it, and use it to steal energy from others.
“I don’t feel good about myself, so let me take what’s yours.”
That’s not attractive.
That’s theft.
And then there’s environmental insecurity.
You might be brilliant in your space,
but step into a corporate meeting,
and suddenly question everything.
Poverty teaches people to feel safe around poverty.
Wealth breeds its own hierarchy.
No one talks about it.
But we feel it.
So, here’s what I’ll leave you with:
Confidence is built.
Brick by brick.
It starts with honesty.
Say what you’re insecure about.
Say it before it grows fangs.
Work on what you can.
Heal what you couldn’t control.
Let go of what doesn’t belong to you.
And if your people don’t love you through it?
Find better people.
If you’ve been cheated on,
ask yourself:
Do I still love me?
Because that’s the only part that matters.
Insecurities bloom when self-love withers.
And when you love yourself deeply?
You’ll recognize who loves you back.
This won’t be the last conversation.
But it’s a beginning.
So, start here:
See yourself.
Speak the truth.
And build a confidence that doesn’t need applause to exist.